How to write a retirement speech

A retirement speech is three to five minutes, or about 400 to 650 words. If it is for someone else, open with one line that captures them, tell one or two stories that show how they work and how they treat people, say what they leave behind, and toast them by name. If it is your own, thank people, tell one story, say what you will miss, and raise a glass to those staying. In both, talk in the present tense. They are retiring, not gone.

Two speeches, two structures

Your own speech should be the shorter of the two. If someone has just spoken about you for four minutes, answer in two or three.

Finding the stories for someone else

Start a week ahead.

• Email five people who have worked with them: "One memory of Pauline, two lines, by Thursday." You will get more than you can use, and the best ones will be things you never knew.
• Ask the person who has known them longest, and the newest person they trained. The two ends of a career tell you different things.
• Write down what they always say. Every workplace has someone with a phrase. It is often the best opening line.
• Notice the small things. What is on their desk. What they do when something goes wrong. What everyone goes to them for.
• Use one real number, if you have it. Years of service, or a count you can check. Do not guess.
• Ask their family what they plan to do next, so your closing wish is about something real.
• Ask the retiree one question: "Is there anything you would rather I didn't mention?" Some people do not want their age, their health or their reasons for going talked about.

Choose stories that show how they treat people. A room full of colleagues already knows what the job is.

Finding the stories for your own

• Your first day. What you wore, who showed you round, what you got wrong.
• The worst day that turned out fine.
• What the job was like when you started: the equipment, the rules, the things nobody would believe now.
• Who taught you, and what they said.
• One thing you are proud of. One is enough.
• The small daily things you will miss: the 7.40 train, the queue for the kettle, a particular laugh from across the room.

Thank four or five people by name at most, then thank groups. A list of thirty names loses the room and always leaves someone out. If your family is there, thank them for what the job cost them.

Example: for a colleague

Greg is speaking about Pauline, who is retiring from the accounts office.

The opening:

If you have worked here for more than a week, Pauline has fixed something for you. Your expenses, your login, your first-day nerves. I'm Greg, and she has been fixing things for me since 2009.

The story:

In my first month I sent a quote to a customer with the decimal point in the wrong place. I walked to Pauline's desk ready to resign.
She looked at it, picked up the phone, and said, "Leave it with me, and go and get us both a coffee." By the time I came back it was sorted. She never mentioned it again.
I'm only telling you now because I asked her permission.

The close:

Pauline, this place will run without you, because you trained everyone in it. We would just rather it didn't have to.
Enjoy the canal boat, and enjoy every Monday morning. Everyone, please raise a glass. To Pauline.

Example: your own

Thirty-one years ago I told my wife this was a six-month contract. Margaret, I'm sorry. I got the dates slightly wrong.
On my first morning, a man called Stan handed me a clipboard and said, "Nobody knows what they're doing for the first year. Just look busy and ask me." I asked him for eleven years. When he left, people started asking me, and I told them what Stan said.
I will miss the people far more than the work. I will not miss the car park.
Thank you, all of you. Please raise a glass, not to me, but to whoever gets my clipboard.

What to leave out

• The career in order. Joined in one year, promoted in another, moved departments. That is a personnel file. Tell two stories.
• The past tense. "She was always the first in" sounds like a funeral. Say "she is".
• Age jokes. "Dinosaur", "part of the furniture", "finally". One gentle line is fine if they make the same joke themselves.
• Grievances. The restructure, the old boss, the pension. Not today.
• Jargon and acronyms if their family is in the room.
• "End of an era" and "we won't see their like again".
• In your own speech: advice. A lecture on how things used to be done is the quickest way to make people look at their phones.

Giving it

Retirement speeches are rarely given from a stage. It is usually a canteen, an office floor or the back room of a pub, with people standing and no microphone.

• Ask someone to gather people and get quiet before you start, so your first line is not wasted.
• Stand where everyone can see you, with the retiree close by and facing the room.
• Speak louder and slower than feels natural. Without a microphone, the people at the back decide how loud you need to be.
• Keep your notes to one sheet or one card. You will have a drink in the other hand.
• Look at them for the last lines.
• Give the present after the toast, not in the middle of the speech.

If you are the one retiring, learn your last two sentences by heart. You may be more moved than you expect, and it helps to know exactly how you will finish. The guide to giving a toast covers the raise itself.

Writing it with Hemmingway

The retirement speech generator drafts either kind of speech. Say who is retiring and who is speaking, give a story or two in your own rough words, anyone to thank, what comes next for them, and how long you want it. It is told to use only what you give it, so collect the memories first.

Read it aloud and change whatever you would not say. If the speech is about a colleague, check names, dates and job titles with someone who knows.

If you are signing the card as well, see what to write in a retirement card. For any other occasion, how to write a speech has the general method.

Try HemmingwayDownload the app

Common questions

How long should a retirement speech be?

Three to five minutes, or about 400 to 650 words. If several people are speaking, two or three minutes each is plenty. The retiree's own reply should be shorter than the speech given about them.

How do you start a retirement speech?

Open with one line that captures the person: something they always say, or the thing everyone goes to them for. Then say who you are. For your own retirement, start with thanks and the day you first arrived.

What do you say in your own retirement speech?

Thank the people you worked with, tell one story from your early days, say what you will miss and what you are looking forward to, and finish with a toast to the colleagues who are staying. Keep it to two or three minutes.

What should you not say in a retirement speech?

Avoid jokes about age, complaints about the employer, private details about health or money, and stories the person would not want told. Do not speak about them in the past tense. They are leaving a job, and the speech should look ahead.

Who gives the speech at a retirement party?

Usually their manager or the colleague who knows them best, and then the retiree replies. It matters more that the speaker knows them well than that the speaker is senior. If you are organising, ask the retiree who they would like.