How to respond to a compliment

The best response to a compliment is "thank you", said like you mean it, plus one short line: what it means to you, a detail about the thing, or credit to someone who helped. Do not argue with it, do not shrink it, and do not throw one straight back because you feel you owe it. A compliment is a small gift. Taking it well is the polite thing to do.

That is the whole skill. The rest of this page is the wording for different places: face to face, by text and at work, and what to do with the awkward ones.

Thanks, plus one line

Pick one of these to follow the thank you.

• Say what it means. "Thank you, that's made my day."
• Add a detail. "Thanks. It was my gran's, I've just had it mended."
• Share the credit, if it is true. "Thank you. Zainab did the charts, so half of that is hers."
• Say you worked at it. "Thanks, I spent ages on that bit, so I'm glad it shows."
• Just smile and stop. "Thank you" on its own is a complete answer.

The line people reach for instead is a denial: "oh, this old thing", "I look awful today", "it was nothing". It feels modest. To the other person it says their judgement was wrong.

In person

Look at them, say it, and let there be a second of quiet. You do not have to fill it.

Someone likes your outfit:

Thank you. I wasn't sure about the colour, so that's good to hear.

Someone praises your cooking:

Thanks, I'm really glad you like it. It's my aunt's recipe and I've finally stopped burning it.

Someone says you did well after a talk or a performance:

Thank you, that means a lot. I was more nervous than I looked.

A stranger says something kind in passing:

Oh, thank you. That's nice of you to say.

By text

A text gives you time, which makes it tempting to over-think. Keep it as short as you would say it.

From a friend:

Aw, thank you. Needed that today.

Ha, thanks. Took me three attempts and a video tutorial.

From someone you are dating or like, accept it warmly and keep the chat moving. You can return one if you mean it, about something different from what they said.

Thank you, that's very sweet. I had a really good time too. You're easy to talk to.

Well, now I'm smiling at my phone on the bus. Thanks for that.

From someone you are not interested in, be polite and brief, and do not add anything that invites more.

Thanks, that's kind of you.

If a compliment makes you uncomfortable, you do not owe thanks for it. No reply is a reply. If it keeps happening, say so plainly.

I'd rather you didn't comment on how I look. Thanks for understanding.

On a post or a photo, a short thanks to each person is enough.

Thank you! It was such a good day.

If you want to say something nice back and cannot think what, the compliment generator writes one from a real detail you give it.

At work

At work a compliment is also information: it tells you what your boss, colleague or client valued. Thank them, and if it is useful, say what made it possible or who else was part of it. Do not hand all the credit away, though. If you did the work, let it stand.

From your manager, in person or in chat:

Thank you, I appreciate you saying so. I'm pleased with how the launch went.

Thanks. Femi and I worked on the numbers together, so I'll pass that on.

From a colleague:

Thanks, that's good to hear. Your notes from the first round saved me a lot of time.

From a client, by email:

Hi Marta,
Thank you, that's very kind. I'm glad the report was useful, and I'll let the team know.
Best,
Owen

Praised in front of a group, keep it to one sentence so the meeting can move on.

Thank you. It was a team effort and I'm glad it landed.

If the praise comes with a thank you, such as "thanks for staying late, the deck was great", how to respond to thank you has the wording.

The awkward ones

You do not agree with it. You do not have to agree. You are thanking them for the thought.

Thank you. I never know what to make of my own singing, so I'll take that.

A backhanded compliment. "You look so much better with your hair like that." Answer the kind half and leave the rest.

Thanks, I like it too.

A compliment that is really a request. "You're so good at spreadsheets, could you just..." Thank them, then answer the request on its own terms. You can still say no. How to say no politely has ways to do it.

One you get all the time. It is new to the person saying it. A plain thank you, again.

Replies to avoid

Three more habits to drop:

• The instant return. "You too" a second later sounds automatic. If you have something nice to say, say it later, or about something else.
• Fishing for more. "Really? You think so? Which part?" turns one compliment into a job.
• The long explanation. Nobody needs the full history of the jacket.

Doing it with Hemmingway

A compliment said out loud needs an answer on the spot, and no tool helps there. For one that arrives by message and leaves you stuck, the text reply generator can draft the reply. Paste what they wrote, say what you want to get across, such as "thank her, say the team helped, keep it short", and say who it is from. It writes one short reply using only what you gave it.

Read it and change anything that does not sound like you before you send it. There is a free trial with no card needed.

Try HemmingwayDownload the app

Common questions

What is the best response to a compliment?

"Thank you", said warmly, with one short line after it: what it means to you, a small detail, or credit to someone who helped. You do not need to return the compliment or play it down.

How do you respond to a compliment over text?

Keep it as short as you would say it out loud: "Thank you, that's made my day" or "Ha, thanks, it took me three tries". If it is from someone you like, add one warm line and carry the conversation on.

How do you respond to a compliment from your boss?

Thank them, say you are pleased with how it went, and name anyone who shared the work. "Thank you, I appreciate that. Femi and I did the numbers together, so I'll pass it on." Do not brush it off, because that tells them their praise was misplaced.

How do you accept a compliment without sounding arrogant?

Say thank you and stop, or add that you worked hard on it. Accepting a compliment is not boasting. Boasting is adding to it, and denying it is a different kind of awkward.

Should you give a compliment back?

Only if you mean it, and not in the same breath. A returned compliment a second later sounds automatic. Thank them first, and say something kind later or about something different.

What do you say when someone compliments your looks?

"Thank you, that's kind" covers almost every case. If it is from someone you like, you can add a warmer line. If it makes you uncomfortable, you do not have to thank them, and you can say you would rather they did not comment on how you look.