In a Mother's Day card, name one specific thing she did or still does, say what it gave you, and tell her you love her. "Thank you for every packed lunch, and for never once mentioning the car" means more than "to the best mum in the world", because only you could have written it. Three or four sentences. She will keep it, so it is worth two minutes of thought.
Call her what you call her: Mum, Mom, Mam, Ma, Mama or her first name.
The formula
- One specific thing. Something she did when you were small, or something she does now. The lifts, the phone calls, sitting through every school play.
- What it gave you. Often it is something you only understood later.
- Say it. "I love you", "I'm grateful", "I'm proud to be yours". Plainly.
- A plan. A call, a lunch, a visit. Time with you is a better present than flowers.
Examples
Your mum
Warm:
Happy Mother's Day, Mum. I've been thinking about all the Saturday mornings you stood on a freezing touchline pretending to understand the offside rule. I didn't notice then. I do now. Thank you. I love you. Lunch on Sunday is on me.
Short:
Happy Mother's Day, Mum. Everything good in me started with you. Love you.
Funny:
Happy Mother's Day to the woman who still texts to ask if I've got a coat. I have. I'm 34. I love you. Never stop.
Mum, sorry about the years from 13 to 17. You were right about nearly everything. Please don't tell Dad I said so.
From far away:
Happy Mother's Day from the other side of the world. I made your lentil soup last week and it tasted like home. I'll ring at six your time, so put the kettle on.
Now that you have children of your own:
Mum, I've been a parent for eight months and I already owe you about a thousand apologies. I don't know how you did it with three of us. Thank you. I get it now.
From a young child
Ask them why they love her, and write down exactly what they say.
Dear Mummy, I love you because you make pancakes and you do the voices in the stories. Love from Theo, age 5
Your wife or partner
She is not your mother, so write as the person who sees what she does every day.
Happy Mother's Day, love. The kids won't know for years how much you do, but I see it. The 3am feeds, the packed bags, the way you know which bear is the right bear. They're lucky. So am I.
Her first Mother's Day:
Your first Mother's Day. Six months ago you'd never changed a nappy, and now you can do it in the dark with one hand. Mabel has the best mum. Breakfast is coming, stay where you are.
Your grandmother
Happy Mother's Day, Granny. Thank you for the summers at your house, the jam, and for always taking my side. I'm coming on Sunday with cake.
A stepmum
Thank her for what she did, without measuring her against anyone.
Happy Mother's Day, Julie. You didn't have to come to every parents' evening, and you came to all of them. I've never said how much that meant. Thank you.
A mother-in-law
Happy Mother's Day, Margaret. Thank you for making me feel like one of the family from the first Sunday lunch, and for raising someone so easy to love.
Someone who has been like a mother
An aunt, a foster mum, a friend's mum, a teacher.
You're not my mum, but you've turned up like one for fifteen years. Thank you for the spare room and the straight talking. Happy Mother's Day.
A friend who is a mum
Happy Mother's Day. I see how hard you work and how loved those two boys are. You're doing a brilliant job, even on the days it doesn't feel like it.
When the relationship is difficult
You do not have to write what is not true. Find one thing that is, and keep it short.
Happy Mother's Day, Mum. Thinking of you today. I hope the garden is looking good.
Happy Mother's Day. Thank you for teaching me to cook. I hope you have a good day.
When the day is hard for someone
A friend whose mother has died, who has lost a child, or who wanted children and does not have them. No card. A short message that asks for nothing.
Thinking of you today. I know it's a hard one without your mum. No need to reply.
There is more on this in what to say when someone dies.
Tone and sign-off
| Who it is for | Tone | Sign-off |
|---|---|---|
| Your mum | As warm or as teasing as the two of you are | Love, all my love |
| Your wife or partner | What you see her do, from you and not from the children | Love, yours |
| Grandmother | Memories and a visit | Lots of love |
| Stepmum, mother-in-law | Specific thanks, no comparisons | With love, with thanks |
| Someone you are not close to | One true line | Your name |
What to leave out
- "Best mum in the world" on its own. Add the reason.
- Jokes about her age, her cooking or her phone, unless she tells them herself.
- Guilt. "Sorry I never call" makes the card about you. Call instead.
- A backhanded thank you. "Thanks for doing your best" reads as a complaint.
- Comparisons. With other mothers, with your stepmum, with how your partner's mother does things.
- What you do not mean. In a hard relationship, one true line is better than three false ones.
- The printed verse alone. One line in your own hand is what she will read twice.
Writing one with Hemmingway
The Mother's Day message generator helps when you know what she did for you and cannot find a way to say it that is not soppy. Tell it who she is to you, what you call her, and one real thing she did or does. It works only from what you tell it, so it will not make up a childhood for you. Read the result, change whatever does not sound like you, and write it in by hand. There is a free trial with no card needed, and the plans are on the pricing page.
If she would like a few lines of verse made from your own memories, try the poem generator. For Father's Day there is a Father's Day message generator too.
Try HemmingwayDownload the app
Common questions
What is a short Mother's Day message?
"Happy Mother's Day, Mum. Everything good in me started with you" is short and says a lot. Better still is one line about a thing only she did, followed by "I love you".
What do you write in a Mother's Day card for your wife?
Write as her partner, not as the children. Name two or three things you see her do for them that nobody thanks her for, and say they are lucky to have her. Then take something off her list for the day.
What do you write in a Mother's Day card for a mother-in-law?
Thank her for one specific kindness to you, such as how she welcomed you, and for the person she raised. Two sentences is enough, and it should sound like you and not like a verse.
What do you write if you and your mother are not close?
Keep it short and true. "Happy Mother's Day. Thinking of you, and I hope you have a good day" is honest. You can add one real thing you are grateful for, and you do not have to add anything you do not feel.
What do you say on Mother's Day to someone whose mother has died?
Send a short message, not a card: "Thinking of you today. I know it's a hard one without your mum. No need to reply." Use her mother's name if you knew her, and do not try to cheer them up.
What should a first Mother's Day card say?
Tell the new mum one thing you have watched her learn or do since the baby came, and that the baby is lucky to have her. If it is from the baby, a line in the baby's voice is sweet, with a real line from you underneath.