In a Valentine's card, write one specific thing you love or have noticed about the person, say what it does to you, and add a plan or a wish. Then match the size of the message to how long you have been together. Three weeks in, "I really like being around you" is right. Ten years in, you can say everything.
You do not need a poem or a borrowed line. The sentence that works is one nobody else could write about them.
The formula
- Something you have noticed. How they laugh before the end of their own joke. How they talk to waiters. Not "you're amazing".
- What it does to you. "It makes me want to be in whatever room you're in."
- A plan or a wish. Tonight, the weekend, the summer.
- The sign-off. This is where the stage shows: "love", "yours", your name, or a question mark.
How much to say
| Where you are | How much to say | Sign-off |
|---|---|---|
| A crush you have not told | One light line and an invitation | Your name |
| A few dates in | That you like them and want more time | Your name, or "yours" |
| A new relationship | One thing you love about being with them | "Love", if you have said it aloud |
| Years together | A memory, a thank you, the future | Whatever you call each other |
| Married a long time | The small daily things | "Still yours" |
Examples
A new relationship
Happy Valentine's Day. Two months ago I didn't know you, and now I check my phone like a teenager. I really like being around you. Dinner on Friday, my treat.
I wasn't sure whether to get you a card, and then I thought about your face when you talk about your allotment and bought three. This is the least embarrassing one. Happy Valentine's Day.
Your boyfriend or girlfriend
Warm:
You make ordinary Tuesdays feel like something. I love that you sing the wrong words with full confidence, and I love coming home to you. Happy Valentine's Day.
Funny:
I love you more than chips. I thought about it for a long time and it's true. Happy Valentine's Day.
Happy Valentine's Day to the person who has seen me with flu and still fancies me. You are either very loyal or short-sighted. I love you.
Your husband or wife
Fourteen Valentine's Days, and I still get a small jolt when I hear your key in the door. Thank you for the life we've made, school runs and all. I love you more than when we started.
I don't say it enough. You are the best decision I ever made. The babysitter is booked for Saturday.
Long distance
Happy Valentine's Day from the wrong time zone. I've kept the seat next to me free at every film since you left. Forty-one days. I'm counting.
A crush
Keep it light, and make it easy to say no.
I think you're great and I've wanted to say so for a while. If you'd like to get a coffee sometime, I'd like that a lot. If not, no harm done, and I'll still save you a seat on Mondays.
An unsigned card is a nice idea and a poor plan, because they cannot answer it. If you want an answer, sign it.
A friend
Happy Valentine's Day to my favourite person to do nothing with. Romance comes and goes, and you've been here through all of it. Wine at mine on Friday.
For a friend having a hard February after a breakup or a loss:
No card-shop nonsense from me. I wanted you to know you're loved, today and the other 364. Come for dinner.
Your child
Happy Valentine's Day, Ivy. You are my favourite girl in the whole world. Love, Dad
Short lines
When the card is small or you are a person of few words:
Still you. Always you.
You're my favourite part of every day.
I'd pick you again.
What to avoid
- Borrowed lines. Song lyrics and famous poems say someone else's feelings. One plain line of your own is better.
- "I love you" for the first time, in a card. Say it to their face first, unless you have chosen the card on purpose.
- Too much, too soon. A page about forever after three dates is a lot to be handed.
- Only their looks. Say something about who they are.
- Pressure. "You'd better have got me something" is only funny if you are sure.
- Anything you would mind someone else reading. Cards get left on mantelpieces and opened at desks.
- Comparisons with an ex, even flattering ones.
- An apology. If you owe one, give it on another day.
Writing one with Hemmingway
The Valentine message generator helps when the feeling is clear and the sentence will not come. Tell it who the card is for, how long you have been together, and one real thing you love about them. It works only from what you tell it, so the detail has to be yours. Read the result, change whatever does not sound like you, and write it in by hand. There is a free trial with no card needed, and the plans are on the pricing page.
If a card is too small for what you want to say, there is a guide on how to write a love letter. The love poem generator makes a short poem from your own details, and for the other big date in the year there is what to write in an anniversary card.
Try HemmingwayDownload the app
Common questions
What do you write in a Valentine's card for a new relationship?
Keep it light and true: one thing you like about being with them, and a plan to see them. "I really like being around you. Dinner on Friday?" is the right size. Leave "forever" for later.
What is a short Valentine's message?
"I'd pick you again" and "You're my favourite part of every day" both fit in a small card. The best short line is a detail only the two of you would understand.
What do you write in a Valentine's card for your husband or wife?
Write about the small daily things: the tea they bring you, the sound of their key in the door, how they are with the children. After years together, noticing is the romantic part. End with a plan for an evening alone.
What do you write in a Valentine's card for a crush?
Say one kind, specific thing, ask for something small like a coffee, and make it easy for them to say no. Sign it, so they can answer.
Should you sign a Valentine's card?
Yes, if you want anything to come of it. An unsigned card is a tradition, but the other person cannot reply to it and may guess wrong. To a partner, always sign.
Can you send a Valentine's card to a friend?
Yes. Tell them what their friendship means to you and suggest doing something together. It is a good day to write to a friend who is on their own, as long as the card does not make a point of it.