A love letter says three things: what you love about this person in particular, one or two moments that show it, and what your life is like because they are in it. Write it in the words you would use out loud, keep it to about a page, and choose the small true detail over the grand line. "You hum when you cook and you don't know you do it" does more than "you are my everything".
Before you write: make three short lists
A love letter goes vague when you start with the first sentence. Start with notes.
- Three things they do that nobody else does. Habits, phrases, the way they are with other people. Not "kind". What the kindness looks like: "you always walk on the traffic side of the pavement".
- Two moments you keep going back to. They can be small. The night the boiler broke. The first time they met your dad.
- One thing you want them to know. The sentence you would be sorry never to have said.
That is the whole letter. The writing is only putting those six things in order.
The order that works
- Say why you are writing, today. An anniversary, a hard month, nothing at all. "I've been meaning to write this down for a while" is a fine first line.
- Say what you love, in particulars. Use the first list. Two or three things, each with a detail.
- Tell one memory, small and exact. Where you were, what they said, what you noticed. One memory told properly beats five mentioned.
- Say what they have changed. What is easier, braver or funnier in your life since they arrived.
- Look ahead. One thing you are looking forward to with them, however ordinary.
- Stop. Sign off the way you would in a text to them. "Love, always" or just your name.
A page is enough. Half a page is enough. If you have more to say, that is what the next letter is for.
Examples
These are shapes to follow. The details are what make a letter yours, so swap every one of them.
A few months in
Early on, keep it light and honest. Say what you have noticed, not where you think it is going.
Nell,
I've been trying to work out when this stopped being "seeing someone" and started being the best part of my week. I think it was the night you argued with the pub quiz host about the capital of Australia and turned out to be right.
I like how you text me the boring bits of your day. I like that you take the long way home to look at other people's gardens. I don't have a big speech. I just wanted you to have it in writing that I'm very glad I met you.
Joe
To a husband or wife, after years
After a long time together, the ordinary things are the love letter. Name them.
Dear Ravi,
Eleven years, and you still bring me tea before I've asked and still get the mug wrong. I wouldn't change either.
I was thinking about the winter Asha was born, when you slept on that awful hospital chair for three nights and told the nurses you were fine. I knew then what kind of person I'd married. I know it better now.
The house is loud and we are both tired, so I don't say it enough: you are the person I want to tell things to. I'm looking forward to being old and annoying with you.
All my love,
Meera
Long distance
Say what you miss in detail, and give them something to hold on to until the next visit.
Tomas,
It's 6am here and I'm writing this before work because it's the only time today we won't both be on a screen. I miss the stupid things most: your cold feet, you narrating the football to nobody.
Thirty-two days. I've already planned the first morning. We are doing nothing, slowly, and then we are going to that bakery.
Until then, this is me, in your pocket.
Anya
An anniversary
One memory from the year, one thing ahead.
Hannah,
A year ago today you spilled a whole coffee on me and then laughed before you said sorry. I should have known.
My favourite bit of this year was the week in Cornwall when it rained every day and we played cards in the van. I've never been so happy to lose.
Happy anniversary. Here's to more rain.
Lewis
A short note, when a full letter is too much
A few lines left on the fridge or in a coat pocket counts.
I watched you talk to my gran for an hour on Sunday like there was nowhere you'd rather be. That's it. That's the note. I love you.
For something shorter still, a text, the love message generator is closer to what you want. For a card, see what to write in a Valentine's card.
What to leave out
- Borrowed lines. Song lyrics and famous quotes say what someone else felt. One line of your own, a bit clumsy, is worth more.
- Only their looks. Say it if you mean it, but a letter that is all about how they look could be to anyone.
- Anything that is really an apology. If you have something to say sorry for, write that separately. How to write an apology message covers it. A love letter that turns into a defence is neither.
- Pressure. No "I need to know you feel the same", no "don't ever leave me". A love letter gives. It does not ask for an answer.
- Promises you cannot keep. "I'll make more time on Sundays" is believable. "I will never let you down" is not.
If they do not know how you feel yet
A full love letter to someone you are not with is a lot to be handed. It asks them to match a feeling they may not share, in one go. Start smaller: a text, a conversation, an invitation. How to text your crush is a better first step. And if the answer is no, the letter stays in the drawer. Writing again to change their mind is not romantic to the person receiving it.
Handwritten, typed or sent as a message
Handwritten is best if your writing can be read. Draft it on a screen, then copy it out. Crossings-out are fine. A typed letter, printed and signed, is second. A long message on a phone is read once between other things and then scrolls away, so keep those for short notes.
Doing it with Hemmingway
If you have the three lists and the words still will not come, the love letter generator can write a first draft. Give it who the letter is for, how long you have been together, and the real details: the habits, the memory, the thing you want them to know. It uses only what you tell it, so the more exact you are, the less it reads like a card from a shop.
Then read it, change every line that does not sound like you, and copy it out by hand. The feeling has to be yours. There is a free trial with no card needed.
Try HemmingwayDownload the app
Common questions
How do you start a love letter?
Start with their name and the reason you are writing today: "I've been meaning to write this down for a while" or "It's our anniversary and I wanted to say this properly". A plain, true first line is better than a clever one.
How long should a love letter be?
About a page, or 150 to 300 words. That is room for two or three things you love about them, one memory and one line about what is ahead. A few honest sentences on a note can do the same job.
What do you write in a love letter?
Write what you love about the person in particular, a moment you remember and why it stayed with you, what they have changed in your life, and something you are looking forward to with them. Use small exact details, not general praise.
How do you end a love letter?
End with one line that looks ahead or sums up the feeling, then sign off the way you normally would with them: "Love", "Yours", "All my love" and your name. Do not ask for a reply.
Is it okay to use AI to write a love letter?
Yes, if the details and the feeling are yours. Give it real memories and the things you love about them, then rewrite anything you would not say. A letter made of general phrases is easy to spot, whoever wrote it.