A good wedding speech is short, specific and warm. A common rule of thumb is to aim for a few minutes, which is roughly 400 to 700 words spoken at an easy pace. The shape that works for almost everyone: say who you are, tell one or two true stories about the person you know best, turn to the couple together, say something sincere about what you wish for them, and end with a toast. One good story beats five average jokes.
You can write it by hand with the structure below, and AI can help you find the order, cut it down and smooth the joins. What AI cannot do is supply the stories. A speech built from general lines about love and friendship is the kind guests forget before dessert. Below: the structure, what changes for best man, maid of honour and parent, example lines, how to use AI well, and how to deliver it.
The structure
- Who you are. One or two lines. "For those who don't know me, I'm Tom, and I've known Sam since we were eleven." Many guests will not know you.
- Thanks, if it is yours to give. Parents usually thank guests and those who helped. A best man or maid of honour often thanks the couple for asking them. Keep it brief.
- One or two stories about the person you know. Pick stories that show who they are: kind, stubborn, hopeless with maps. The story should say something good about them, even if it is funny.
- The turn to the couple. How they met, or when you first saw them together, or the moment you knew. This is where the speech stops being about one person.
- Something sincere. A line or two about what you see in them together, or what you wish for them. Say it plainly. This is the part people remember.
- The toast. Ask everyone to stand and raise a glass, then say the names. "To Sam and Priya."
Aim for about a minute on the opening, most of the time on the stories and the turn, and under a minute on the sincere part and the toast.
Best man, maid of honour, parent
Best man
Traditionally the funniest of the speeches, but funny should never mean embarrassing. The test for any story: would the couple be happy for their grandparents to hear it? Leave out exes, drinking stories that end badly, and anything that needs "you had to be there".
Maid of honour
The same shape. Often a story from years ago that shows who your friend was before the wedding, then the moment you realised their partner was the right one. It can be as funny as a best man's speech or more tender. Both work.
Parent
Usually the first speech, and often the one that welcomes guests and the partner's family. A parent's speech can be gentler and a little more personal: a memory from childhood, what you hoped for them, what you see in the person they married. Welcome the new partner by name, and their family.
Joint speeches and other roles
If two people are speaking together, split the stories rather than the sentences, so each of you gets to tell something whole. A sibling, a friend or the couple themselves can use the same structure.
Example lines
These are shapes, not lines to copy. They work because they are specific.
Opening: "I'm Jess, Hannah's sister. I've known her for thirty-one years, and for about twenty-nine of them she has borrowed my clothes without asking. Today I'm wearing my own dress. I checked."
A story that says something good: "When Dan moved to Leeds, he didn't know anyone. By the end of the first month he'd organised a five-a-side team, a pub quiz team, and a lift rota for a man he'd met once at a bus stop. That is Dan."
The turn: "The first time Ollie brought Mia to dinner, he'd cooked. Ollie doesn't cook. That's when we knew."
The sincere part: "What I see when I look at you two is that you make each other braver. I hope you keep doing that for the rest of your lives."
The toast: "So please stand and raise your glasses. To Hannah and Mo."
Writing it with AI
AI is useful for a wedding speech in a few specific ways: turning a pile of memories into an order, cutting a speech that runs long, finding a smoother way from one story to the next, and suggesting an opening line. It works well if you do the remembering first.
- Write down your raw material. Five to ten memories, in rough notes. Names, places, what happened, what was said.
- Say your role and the couple's names, and how formal the wedding is.
- Give a length. "About 500 words" or "about four minutes spoken".
- Say what to leave out. Exes, anything about drinking, anything that would embarrass the couple, in-jokes the room will not get.
- Ban the stock phrases. "No 'soulmate', no 'journey', no 'Webster's dictionary defines marriage', no 'two hearts become one'."
- Ask for the speech only, in plain spoken English, with short sentences you can say out loud.
- Then make it yours. Read it aloud and change every line that you would not say that way.
A prompt you can adapt:
"Help me write my speech as [role] at [names]'s wedding. The wedding is [formal / relaxed]. My memories: [notes]. Structure: who I am, one or two of these stories, how they are together, one sincere line, then a toast. About [length] words, short sentences I can say aloud, sounding like me. Nothing about exes or drinking, no 'soulmate' or 'journey'. Only the speech."
If you have written anything before that sounds like you, a message or an email, paste it in and say "match this voice". More on making AI write like you.
Doing it with Hemmingway
Hemmingway is built for writing that should sound like a person wrote it: letters, messages, speeches. Its model, Hemmingway-1, gives you the speech itself, one version, keeps to the length you ask for, and sticks to the stories you give it rather than inventing new ones. In our own Human-Likeness test, where a judge picks which of two texts a person wrote, it came first of the models we compared. You can save the draft as a PDF to print for the day.
Try HemmingwayDownload the app
Check every name, date and place in the draft against what you know. A model can get a detail wrong and sound sure about it, and a wrong name in a wedding speech is the one mistake everyone hears.
Delivering it
- Read it aloud several times before the day, ideally to one person who will tell you the truth.
- Time it. If it runs long, cut a story, not the sincere part.
- Print it in large type, or use cards. Reading from a phone is harder than it looks.
- Slow down. Everyone speeds up when nervous. Pause after the funny lines so the room can laugh.
- Look up at the couple for the sincere part and the toast.
- Have one drink, not three, before you speak.
Common questions
How long should a wedding speech be?
A common rule of thumb is a few minutes, which is roughly 400 to 700 words at a relaxed speaking pace. Shorter is almost always better than longer. If there are several speeches, agree lengths with the other speakers so the whole set does not drag.
How do you start a wedding speech?
Say who you are and how you know the couple, in one or two lines, because many guests will not know you. A short, true line about you and the person you know best makes a good opening. Avoid dictionary definitions and "for those of you who don't know me, I'm the good-looking one".
Can I use AI to write my wedding speech?
Yes, if you give it your own memories and edit the result until it sounds like you. Use it to order your stories, cut it down and smooth the joins. A speech made from general lines, with no real stories, will sound generic whoever wrote it.
What should you not say in a wedding speech?
Leave out exes, embarrassing stories the couple would not want their families to hear, drinking stories, in-jokes most of the room will not get, and anything about money or the cost of the wedding. When in doubt, cut it.
How do you end a wedding speech?
With one sincere line to the couple, then a toast. Ask everyone to stand and raise their glasses, then say the couple's names. Keep the toast short so people are not left standing with their arms in the air.