In a wedding card, write congratulations to both of them by name, one line that is about them as a couple or about the day, and a wish for the years ahead. Two to four sentences is plenty. Sign with a name they will recognise, because cards are often opened days later, away from the gifts.
Below: a formula, examples for a close friend, family, a coworker and a couple you barely know, some funny ones, and what to leave out.
A simple formula
- Both names. Even if you only know one of them. Check the spelling against the invitation.
- Congratulations. Plain is fine: "Congratulations to you both."
- One line about them. How they are together, a memory, a moment from the day, or thanks for having you there.
- A wish for the marriage, not only the day. Specific is better: "Here's to forty years of arguing over the crossword."
- Your name. Add a surname, or "Tess's friend from choir", if one of them may not place you.
If you write the card before the wedding, do not describe a day you have not seen yet. If you write it afterwards, one moment from the day makes a good middle line.
To a close friend
Imogen and Stefan, I have watched you two be ridiculous about each other since the camping trip where it rained for four days and neither of you noticed. Congratulations. I love you both, and I'm so glad it's official.
Kit and Dara, congratulations. Kit, you have been my best friend for twenty years and I have never seen you this happy or this punctual. Dara, thank you for both. All my love.
To the two of you: today was perfect. The vows got me, the band got everyone, and I'm keeping the order of service. Here's to a long and happy marriage.
To family
Family can say more, and can say it plainly. Welcome the new person by name.
From parents:
Dear Owen and Lily, watching you marry today is one of the proudest days of our lives. Lily, you have been family for a long time already. Look after each other, and come for lunch often. All our love, Mum and Dad.
To a brother or sister:
Hattie, my little sister, married. Jon, she already knows you hate mushrooms, so you're in safe hands. Congratulations to you both. I'm so happy for you.
To a niece, nephew or cousin:
Dear Rhys and Amara, congratulations on your wedding. It feels like last week that Rhys was hiding under the table at my house. We are so pleased for you both and wish you every happiness.
From a grandparent:
My dear Ellie and Joe, your grandad and I had fifty-one years together and I wish you the same luck. With all my love on your wedding day, Nan.
To a coworker
Friendly and short. Use first names if that is what you use at work, the boss included.
Dear Beth, congratulations to you and Andrew. It has been lovely seeing you so happy these last few months. Have a wonderful day.
Congratulations, Farah and Imran. Wishing you both a very happy marriage, and a honeymoon with no work emails in it.
Dear David and Grace, congratulations on your wedding. Wishing you both many happy years.
For the card that goes round the office, one line each:
Congratulations, both. Have the best day.
So happy for you, Beth. Enjoy every minute.
Wishing you a long and happy marriage.
Congratulations. Bring back cake.
To a couple you barely know
You might be a plus-one, a neighbour, or a friend of the parents. Thank them for including you, wish them well, and say who you are.
Dear Chloe and Ben, congratulations on your wedding day. Thank you for including me. It was a joy to be there, and I wish you many happy years together.
Dear Sophie and Matteo, we have known Sophie's parents for thirty years and have heard about this day for most of the last one. Congratulations, and every happiness to you both. Alan and Denise Carter.
Congratulations on your marriage, and all good wishes from everyone at number 9.
Funny, if they will both laugh
A joke belongs in a wedding card only when you know both of them well enough to be sure. Aim it at marriage in general or at yourself, never at one of them.
Congratulations. From now on, every argument about the thermostat is legally binding.
Thank you for getting married so that I finally had a reason to buy this suit. Congratulations, you two.
May you always agree on what to watch, or at least own two screens. So happy for you both.
If you cannot be there
Say you are sorry to miss it in one line, then write the card you would have written.
Dear Nell and Ravi, I'm so sorry to miss today. I'll be thinking of you at two o'clock and raising a glass at this end. Congratulations, and I want to see every photo.
With money or a gift
Say what it is for, not how much it is.
A little something towards the honeymoon. Spend it on the good breakfast.
This is for the house fund, or for one very nice dinner. Your call.
Second weddings, older couples and names
The wording is the same. For a second marriage or a couple marrying later in life, leave out "at last" and anything about the past.
Congratulations, Judith and Frank. It is a lovely thing to see two people this happy. Wishing you many good years together.
On the envelope and at the top of the card, first names are always safe. Write "Mr and Mrs" and a shared surname only if you know that is what they have chosen. A religious line such as "God bless your marriage" is welcome if they share the faith. If you are not sure, leave it out.
What to avoid
- Jokes about exes, divorce, the ball and chain, or how long it took. Somebody's grandmother will read this card.
- Babies. No "little ones next".
- Advice on marriage. One line from a parent is fine. A list is not.
- Writing only to the one you know. The card is to both of them.
- What the day cost, or what your gift cost.
- An in-joke only one of them gets.
- A bare signature under the printed verse. Add one line of your own.
Doing it with Hemmingway
If you are stuck on the middle line, the wedding wishes generator writes a first version. Tell it who the couple are, how you know them, one real detail and the tone you want. It works from what you give it, so the memory has to come from you. Read it, change whatever does not sound like you, and copy it into the card by hand.
If you are also standing up to speak, there are guides to writing a wedding speech and giving a toast. A year from now, there is what to write in an anniversary card.
Try HemmingwayDownload the app
Common questions
What is a good short message for a wedding card?
"Congratulations to you both. Wishing you a long and happy marriage." is a complete message. Add their names at the top, and one line about them if you can, such as a moment from the day.
How do you address a wedding card?
Use both first names: "Dear Chloe and Ben". This is right for every couple and avoids guessing whether anyone has changed their surname. Write "Mr and Mrs" only if you know that is what they have chosen.
What do you write in a wedding card if you can't go?
Say in one line that you are sorry to miss it, then congratulate them and wish them well as you would have in person. Do not explain why you cannot come. A plan to see them afterwards is a nice ending.
What do you write in a wedding card for a coworker?
Congratulate them and their partner by name and wish them a happy marriage, in two sentences. On a shared office card, one line and your name is enough.
What do you write in a wedding card when giving money?
Write your normal message, then one line that says what the money is for, such as the honeymoon or the new home. Do not mention the amount. "A little something towards the honeymoon" is all it needs.
Is it okay to be funny in a wedding card?
Yes, if you know both of them well and the joke is gentle. Joke about marriage in general or about yourself, and follow it with one sincere line. Avoid jokes about exes, divorce or how long it took.