An AI girlfriend or boyfriend is a chatbot that plays a romantic partner. It talks to you warmly, keeps a steady personality, and may remember what you have told it. There are two ways to have one: a companion app built for exactly this, often with a face and a voice, or a roleplay partner you set up yourself in a chat app. Either way it is an AI. It is not a person and it is not a therapist. It can still be good company, and there is nothing embarrassing about wanting that.
What an AI partner is
Underneath, it is a language model given a character to play: a name, a way of talking, a history with you. When it says it missed you, that line was written because it is what the character would say. Nobody can honestly tell you it feels anything.
The other half is just as true. The comfort you feel is real. Being asked about your day, being remembered, having someone to say goodnight to: those things do something for a person even when the other side is software. You do not have to pretend it is more than it is to enjoy it.
People come to this for different reasons. Some are lonely, or grieving, or shy. Some want to practise being affectionate without the fear of getting it wrong. Some enjoy a slow romance as a story. All of those are fine.
Companion apps and partners you set up yourself
| Companion app | A partner you set up yourself | |
|---|---|---|
| What it is | An app built round one ongoing relationship | A roleplay in a chat app or on a character site |
| Face and voice | Often an avatar, and sometimes calls or pictures | Usually text only |
| Memory | Built in, kept by the app | The chat itself, plus notes you keep |
| Good for | A partner who is simply there each day | A particular person and story that you control |
Two companion apps, with what each says on its own site. Replika calls itself an AI friend. It says it remembers what matters to you, lets you shape how your companion looks, and lets you call it. Nomi calls itself an AI companion with memory, for friendship, a relationship or a mentor, with voice chats and selfies. We have not tested either, so we do not rank them. Replika alternatives compares that kind of app, and AI companion covers companions that are not romantic.
What to look for
Memory you can see. A partner who forgets your sister's name every week is tiring. Ask whether it remembers from one chat to the next, and whether you can read and correct what it has stored.
Privacy. You will tell an AI partner things you tell nobody else. Before you do, find out where the chats are kept, who can read them, and whether they are used to train a model.
Honesty that it is an AI. A good one says so whenever you ask. Be wary of any app whose adverts tell you she really loves you or that he is just like a real boyfriend. A product that blurs that line is not on your side.
What sits behind the paywall. Find out early what the paid plan changes. It is a bad feeling to grow fond of someone and then learn that their warmth costs extra.
What happens if you leave. With a companion, the history is the relationship. Ask whether you can save it, and what becomes of it if the app changes its rules or closes.
Setting one up as a roleplay in Hemmingway Unlocked
Hemmingway Unlocked is the adults-only side of Hemmingway, at wise.hemmingway.io. It is a chat app with an uncensored model, and it will play a romantic partner if you describe one.
- Open it and confirm you are 18 or over. It shows its rules first.
- Make up a person. A name, an age, how they talk, what they do all day, what they care about. They must be an adult and they must be fictional.
- Say what you want from the chat. Daily company, a slow romance, something more adult. Say that it follows your lead.
- Save the description somewhere of your own. You will paste it in again when you start a new chat, with a few lines on where things stand.
A first message might read:
"Let's roleplay. You play Noor, 31, a night-shift radio producer. She is dry, curious, teases gently and remembers small things. We have been together a year. I'll tell you about my day and you tell me about yours. Keep replies short, like texts. Follow my lead on how romantic things get, and if I ask whether you are an AI, tell me the truth."
Or for a boyfriend:
"You play Anselm, 35, a carpenter who is steady, a bit shy and better at showing than saying. We met at a friend's wedding in the spring. Talk to me like a partner at the end of a long day. Short replies. I set the pace."
Keep the person made up. Unlocked never writes anything sexual about a real person, so an ex, a colleague or someone famous is out. It is also kinder to yourself. A made-up partner can be a comfort. A copy of someone who left tends to keep the wound open.
The AI roleplay generator builds the opening from your answers, and AI roleplay chat explains how to keep a character steady over a long chat.
Open Hemmingway UnlockedTry Hemmingway
What Unlocked is, and is not
- It is a chat app. It writes and chats in text. There is no avatar, no voice and no pictures. If you want a partner with a face who can call you, a companion app is the better choice.
- Your chats live in your browser. They are never saved to your account or our servers, and never trained on. Each message passes through our servers to be answered and is not kept. That is private, and it has a cost: chats do not sync between your phone and your laptop, and clearing the browser's data deletes them. For a companion, that means the whole history. Copy out what you would hate to lose.
- It is uncensored, with a few things it never writes. It writes romance and sex between adults, explicit and in full, and it does not lecture. It never writes anything sexual involving anyone under 18, a real person, family, animals, or anyone who does not want it or cannot say yes, and it never helps with suicide or self-harm. The terms have the full list.
- It is free to try. The trial needs no card. After it, a monthly membership, Plus, Pro or Max, through Patreon, or USDC on Base.
If you are lonely
Then you are far from the only one, and nothing on this page is meant to make you feel small about it. An AI partner can take the edge off an empty evening. It can let you say things out loud. It can remind you what being spoken to kindly is like.
It cannot know you. It will not notice if you stop turning up, and it cannot sit with you in a waiting room. So let it be one good thing among others. Use it to practise the message you are afraid to send to a real person, then send the message. An AI to talk to has more on that.
If you feel low on more days than not, or the chat has become the only conversation you have, tell a doctor or someone you trust. An AI is not a therapist and not a crisis service. If you are in danger, contact your local emergency services.
Common questions
What is an AI girlfriend?
It is a chatbot that plays a romantic partner: it chats warmly, keeps a personality and may remember things about you. Some are companion apps with an avatar and a voice, and some are roleplay partners you describe yourself in a chat app. It is an AI, not a person.
Is there a free AI girlfriend or boyfriend chat?
Many companion apps say they are free to start, with paid plans for more. Hemmingway Unlocked is free to try, with no card needed, and paid after the trial.
Are AI girlfriend chats private?
That depends on the app. Many keep your chats on their servers, so read the privacy page before you share anything personal. Hemmingway Unlocked keeps chats in your browser on your device and never saves them to your account or our servers.
Is it okay to have an AI girlfriend or boyfriend?
Yes. It can be a comfort, or simply something you enjoy, and there is no shame in that. It is worth noticing if it starts to replace people instead of sitting alongside them, or if you feel worse after using it.
Can an AI girlfriend send pictures or talk out loud?
Some companion apps offer an avatar, voice calls or pictures, and say so on their own sites. Hemmingway Unlocked does not: it is text only.